Oxymorons
by TheNightmareB4Christmas
Summary: Disclaimer: I dont own it. Harry Potter is trying to do his Vocabulary Homework and everywhere he is someone is bothering him. Watch him try to deal with strange people, and oxymorons...


Young Harry James Potter was bored. No, not just bored, he was bored to death. He was trying to define his new vocabulary words, and then write sentences, but it didn't really help that he didn't own a dictionary. Or anything else for that matter. So here he was, trying to figure what the bloody hell lethargic meant.

Lethargic, lethargic, what kind of a word was that? He didn't know. Wait, someone had used it, but whom? Oh wait, he remembers, Uncle Vernon, what had he said? "That boy moves so lethargically," Wow, that was a great help. What day was that again? Last week on...Saturday! So, he was tired on Saturday, right? Yeah, so that meant...tired! Lethargic...tired...it worked! So, a sentence:

"I am feeling very lethargic." No, that was stupid. He would have to come up with something else, something better...

"But what kind of word is lethargic?!" He said out loud without noticing.

"A turtle is very lethargic." Harry jumped. "HAHA! You jumped!" He turned to see Dudley Dursley staring at him from the doorway of Harry Potter's cupboard.

"Yeah, that's what people do that are less than 5 thousand kilos."

"Then why are you doing it?" Dudley inquired.

"Yeah, I defiantly weigh less than you."

"I hate you because you're skinny!"

"Isn't that an oxymoron? 'I hate you because you're skinny' don't you usually hate people because they're fat?" Harry pondered this, but Dudley came to a false conclusion quickly.

"Are you calling me a moron?!"

"OXY-MORON, not 'moron,' moron." Harry said.

"So you are!"

"Yes."

Dudley crossed his arms over his chest, "Than why are-are-are you-you..." He said at a loss for words.

"Having trouble speaking, Duddy-kins? Well, hold on, I'll get mummy to fix it." Harry said, knowing that he was crossing a line. Well, about ten lines. But Harry didn't really care. He was annoyed and Dudley had decided to annoy him even more because he was interrupting Harry. And he had opened the cupboard door.

"Yeah, well, you're not brave when-when-um-when you-you are in... um...SCHOOL!" Dudley said, again at a loss for words.

"Why would I not be brave in school?" Harry asked Dudley.

"Because."

"Sure..."

"I'm leaving now."

"Okay, Duddy-kins."

**Five Years Later**

15 year-old Harry James Potter was bored. No, not just bored, bored to death. Snape had given new potions vocabulary words for Christmas break homework and he was trying to define them, and then write sentences for them. Why the potions master had assigned this homework assignment, Harry didn't know, but it sure was stupid and very, very pointless.

"Hey, Ron, did you do Snape's potions vocabulary homework yet?" Harry asked his best mate Ron Weasley. They were sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room. Ron was laying on a red-and-gold couch while Harry was sitting in a small wooden chair at a very large wooden table near Ron.

"No."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Hermione left for Christmas break."

"Yep."

"That's not good."

"No, it isn't."

"Damn."

The words didn't even have anything to do with Potions, either. Seriously, though, what does the word lethargic have to do with Potions anyway? Exactly, it didn't have anything at all to do with Potions, but Snape was Snape. Next thing you know they will be walking around with plastic dolls that cried when you dropped them for Potions.

"What does lethargic mean?" Harry asked the room. Some first years looked at him, but then went back to their work. Stupid first years, Harry thought. Nobody else was in the common room that Harry hadn't asked yet. Great, just great. Why did Hermione have to leave?

"You are very lethargic." Harry jumped. "HAHA you jumped! And you don't know what the word lethargic means!" Harry turned to see Dean Thomas staring at him from the portrait hole.

" Yeah, well, you're fat." It was true though, Dean had put on some kilograms.

"I hate you because you're skinny!"

"Isn't that an oxymoron?"

"Are you calling me a moron?!" This reminded Harry of something...but he couldn't remember what. Something from long ago...

"Did you know the word 'oxymoron' is an oxymoron its self? Oxy is a Greek word meaning sharp, and moros is a Greek word meaning dull. Thus oxymoron is a oxymoron." Some first year girl said from the first year coroner. She was one of the girls that wouldn't answer Harry! She must think that she is cool.

Harry completely ignored this annoying girl. She interrupted his conversation.

"No, not moron, OXY-MORON, you stupid moron." Harry said to Dean.

"So you are!"

"Yep."

"Damn you!"

"Okay."

"Fine! Well, you're not so brave in-in-in...um...uhh..." Harry rolled his eyes, how thick could you get? But wait! Harry finally figured it out! It was like that night when he was 10! At the Dursleys! With Dudley! If it was going to be exactly like that night, the next thing Dean would say would be really stupid. But most of the things Dean said were stupid anyway, so it didn't really matter.

"The Bathroom!"

"What?" Harry asked. That statement made no sense at all. But Dean usually didn't.

"I heard you scream this morning in the bathroom."

"Dean, that was Ron, and that was because Seam-someone, dyed his hair maroon and made it flash different colors." It actually was kind of scary, Harry had to admit. But after Harry realized how funny it really was. Although he couldn't laugh, because that's just what best mates did.

"Hey!" Ron indignantly said from the couch. Dean just got up and left like the stupid person he was. Ron then got up and walked over to where Harry was sitting.

"What?" Harry asked. Ron was probably going to point out the obvious now. But Ron always does that, so its not like it is unusual. Something unusual would be Dean saying something smart. Or Snape taking a shower. Or even, McGonagall wearing her hair down. Something like that.

"You said that about me!"

"Yeah."

"Fine."

"Okay."

"I'm leaving now."

"Okay, Won-Won."

**Okay! That was pointless! Review please!**


End file.
